Company Store Expansion Memo
Congratulations! Your camp has been bought by the Company! You will get to keep chopping and instead of having to find a buyer for all your trees the Company will take care of all that and we will pay you (in wooden nickels) that you can take and spend where you want (only valid at company store no actual cash value). We at the Company want you to be safe that is why we sell many handy items in the store such as Sasquatch Repellent, Chaps, and Safety Glasses. Be comforted that our Sasquatch attacks are down in all our camps to only about 12 attacks a month and we get almost all Lumberjacks back during mating season. We are here to help and look forward to working with you (lost limbs, under dressed lumberjacks, wild beavers, and hippie tree huggers are not the fault of the Company!